Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
