My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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