They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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