I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
