i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
