Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
