Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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