I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
