In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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