Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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