if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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