You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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