he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this just has baby written all over it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
