I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he fucked my hip out of place.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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