I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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