i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
