It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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