By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
