would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
