Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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