Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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