She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
