when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
