dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
