it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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