is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
