I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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