even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
