I want to make a zoo with you.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
