I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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