Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
