so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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