her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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