how can u be prego again
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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