I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
