one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
