Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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