I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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