she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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