Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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