she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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