I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
