I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
