it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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