Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
