The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
