You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
