just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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