There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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