I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
