I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
