I just made out with a guy for $7.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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