My room smells like vodka and shame
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
