i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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