We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
