my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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