my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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