Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
