They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
