Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize