Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
