she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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