We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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