I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
