Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize